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Thursday, April 16, 2009 Y 10:21 AM

Someone who treats u nice one minute and nasty the other is not worth to be love. No matter how much money is given or spent, that is never equivalent to the essence of love.

My very honest opinion is that, I'm really tired. I always get second thoughts about the whole relationship thing. Sometimes, you realised you loved someone when you get really angry with things they do. I no long feel that way. I don't get that angry. Yes, I do get upset but it just passes in 5 minutes? I can't be bothered to be overwhelmed by those issues and back behind my mind, I am always thinking, if I wanted to, I'm sure I can look for someone else that is much better. In the past, I will just cry and cry and get really upset and afraid that you will leave me. Now, I just get upset for 5 minutes and I will get it through and wouldn't even think about messaging or talking to you. Life still goes on for me.

What always stopped me from doing that was when I thought of how nice you treated me and everything we been through. If you honestly think this is a relationship worth to be in, I sincerely seek your cooperation and commitment to make a change in your attitude. I'm tired of how you speak to me hot and cold. When you are happy and free, you talk to me happily. When you are busy or in a bad mood, you will talk to me like shit. The essence and basic of communication is if you are in a bad mood or busy, first thing, you highlight to your partner about it.

Do you know what I hated it about the msn thing just now? It was when I'm trying to talk to you and you are not replying, and when I asked why, you did state your reasons and you are half hearted. When I talk to you again, you totally ignore me and just give me one word answers. Asking about what to bring for your course will not render you till so busy that you take 15 minutes to reply to me and to give me one word answers right? And the worse was when I told you I'm not happy and I would't be bothered to be talking to you, you actually said "Okie". What kinda attitude is that?

I know you are busy, and a person with no life like me and no work should not worry you or disturb you. You are one of the reason why I have been crying for the past 2 years and I even cried when I went to see the doctor. I just don't feel that I have any support from you this whole period when I'm down. Yes, you were there when major things happened but after that you were gone. You were the biggest support for me, just like how William is for Cai Lian, but you were most of the time not there. You still treat me in a bad way at times and that really hurt my fragile feelings. I feel that this period where I have fallen down, I am the one that is still trying to look for you for solace and companion, and not you coming to look for me. ALthough sometimes, when you are really free, then you will come and look for me.

I did not cry when I was angry with you over the msn thing just now although you did your usual tactic of ignoring me, but as I'm writing this entry, I started crying because I know how hurt I have been over the past 2 years.


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