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Sunday, October 30, 2005 Y 9:38 PM

I was watching the creation of Andy Lau's newest chinese movie on tv juz now and one scene that I saw set me thinking. It was about Charlene Choi complaining to Andy Lau that he didn't care about her. She said: "Bye bye, bye bye, that's all you know how to say and do! Wait till I'm gone then you know!". She died in a car crash and he was devastated.

When I saw that scene, I could totally empathize with Charlene's situation. Tat was exactly my sentiments! How many numerous times have this kinda tots crossed my mind when I was with him? I could barely count it esp recently. Well, I dun want to be dead...juz often tot that perhaps I could disappeared from his life for a lil while. Perhaps then I could c the true colors of him.

Too often I had wished to ask for a cooling off period but juz bring myself to not contact him at all. I'm such a failure yeah. Then I question myself, is that love then? The fact that I couldn't bear to leave happily as I cud as like in the previous relationships.

If I'm gone one day, will you be sad?

Y 6:29 PM

Yippee!!!! Finally figured out how to insert a song into my blog...hee hee...so happy! Cy, I can teach you how to write the script already...know a bit here and there (:

I was supposed to cook curry chicken for my mom today but too bad, when I called her, she told me she bought food for me already. Asked me to cook another day. Shall attempt it on another day then (:

Saturday, October 29, 2005 Y 11:57 PM

Finally get to mit up with the girls today! It has been quite some time since I last saw them, except for Dede whom I saw juz on Monday during grad nite. Aniwae, speaking about grad nite, Dede you haven't sent the fotos we taken together in Raffles Ballroom. Please send to me yeah? Thanks thanks.
Okie back to where I was saying. We met up to go for ktv, as usual at Crown Prince Partyworld, Dede's favourite choice. For the 1st time, I reached on the dot! Yippee, pls give me some claps but then the girls really sabo me yeah. Everyone was late for half an hour. I spent the whole half an hour alone in the ktv room, trying to act like I was singing and eating while the waiters and waitresses kept peeping into my room. Probably wonder why this gurlz book such a big room to herself only tsk tsk. I have to apologize to my wallet cuz I didn't really sing much. Spent most of the time chatting to the girls instead. Seemed like it was more interesting to catch up than to sing. I could only say we are probably the best chatters around. From 2 pm all the way till 9pm, we were chatting non stop. There was nv a break in between where there was silence. Even Ernest is becoming more and more chatty, probably the side effects of hanging out too much with his wife and us keke. Oh you probably wondering how did Ernest popped up? Okie sorrie, it was actually I met up with the girls and Ernie. Didn't meant to label him as part of the girls gang too.
Hee I got a tortoise keychain from my LL (Krisie). My gfs are really nice to me yeah. Always rem to get me gifts when they go overseas. It feels nice to be remembered and pampered by people. Some people juz dunno how to care and pamper their loved ones (you know whom I'm referring to).
I was juz calculating to Doreen at the mrt juz now. There is like 168 hours a week. Take away 44 hours that I'm working and I'm left with 142 hours. Take away 60 hours of sleep and I'm left with 82 hours. Take away 2 to 4 hours that I spent with him and I'm left with 78 hours. Take away 30 hours that I spent with my family and friends and I'm left with 48 hours. I have 48 hours to ponder over my relationship, to feel unnoticed and uncared for! I have 48 hours of freedom whom I can get to know new people and befriend them and maybe finding someone whom notice my presence more? Sometimes, it's juz scary to know that I have so much freedom to betray him and go out with someone else. I can't really trust myself to totally not doing that as I have so much time and that I'm craving for care, attention and love. To topped it up, what frightens me is that I've lost hope and that I have an inclination to be rebellious in the relationship.
Life would be so much easier if everything falls into place neatly. Then again, that wouldn't be life cuz it will be too perfect.

Y 5:14 AM

Some fotos that I took from Cameron Highlands (:

I called them, the fairy flowers =p

Nice purple flowers outside my hotel

At the flowers farm!

Amongst the flowers (;

Yummy strawberries!

Looks real nice when I took a 2nd look at it...hee hee of cuz not forgetting that the owner of the foto looks nice too! Hee hee (:

Y 4:39 AM

Hello peepz!
I juz did up my new blog. Took me hours and ages to figure out how to adapt the blogskin. Tsk Tsk, it looks real nice to me now and I'm very satisfied with it =). Okie, there's no music though cuz I dunno how to put music in. Will try to figure that out though =). Please do feel free to comment or chit chat in the cafe talk kk? Else it will look pathetic without anything heh heh.

Btw, all is gud now. Things are settled amongst us. I have to admit that I somehow lost a lil bit of hope now that everything is back to normal. Dun dare to place too much hopes on him anymore. Afraid that I'll be disappointed or hurt again. Hope that he really meant what he said.

P.S.: My cousin has now joined the workforce of the Metro Aunties...hahaha...a rose among the thorns! I shall go disturb him and my mom as frequently as I can heh heh.


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