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Monday, November 26, 2007 Y 5:58 AM

I'm terribly sorry that I always end up falling asleep at my bf's house over weekends. Sigh, I wish I was more awake so I could spend more time with him and see him more, but the stupid drowsy cough mixture took me of all my senses. I am drug intoxicated for 2 weeks already, feel so tired from all the medication.

I am so tired from taking cough mixture over and over again. And I'm really tired from getting all those coughing fits and in bad fits, I can vomit. Tired of cleaning up because I vomited and dirtied the place and myself.

Seems to be better now with the third time that I saw a doctor. Two different cough mixtures this time. I still feel sleepy with the non drowsy one, dunno is it sleepy from coughing too much and vomiting or sleepy from the cough mixture.

I must really try to keep myself more awake when I'm at his house, else time have with him will become nothing. Weekends are precious because he is going to get busy with his assignments again. Hope I get well soon!

Thursday, November 22, 2007 Y 5:39 PM

It is such a painful night to endure last night. My eyes are sore, I cough till I puke and my nose was awfully stuck. Total lack of sleep and total depression.

Y 6:48 AM

Gerald just got back his results for PSLE. He didn't do very well, on the borderline of 196 but I'm still very proud of him considering that he is lazy and not so well in his studies, he could actually score that well. And I'm glad that his parents didn't scold him. They were happy for him too. I'm very happy and relief for him.

Friday, November 16, 2007 Y 8:38 PM

Stuffy nose, feverish, cough getting worse, nose peeling and painful, bleeding nose, no appetite at all, tasteless bud, feeling uncomfortable everywhere, no TLC, no one bothered.

Being an only child doesn't helps at time, you get through illness alone yourself. I'm home alone and cared for myself when my parents are not around. You know when you are real sick, you just want someone to care for you?

I feel so sad now, that I'm so sickey and I can call out to no one to help me. It feels like as if I'm not recovering too. Crying when I'm sick doesn't helps with my nose too. I hope I get well soon.

Feeling so lonely.

Y 7:39 PM

I'm down with a horrible horrible sore throat and stuffy nose, with fever for the past 2 days. I don't understand why is it that every year I have to fall sick during D & D? And it's always the same thing, flu!!! With the addition of sore throat this year only. Is this like some repentance or retribution? No matter how daunting it is to be sick, I still went to work and went to D & D.

It was Hawaiian theme this year, at Bliss Garden in Expo. D & D venues seem to be cheaper and cheaper each year. Theme seemed to be more and more dressed down each year. This year, we made an effort to dress up though, painstakingly handmade straw skirts that made our fingers sore and painful, took up precious times. The effect was "Wow, are you all performing tonight?", "you all look so cute!", "it's so nice!" and so it goes on.

Sadly to say, although we do indeed looked the nicest and most creative, we wasn't chosen for the best table award. Totally 'kelong' as they called it, choosing Corp Comms and HR again for best table awards. Alot of people were pointing to our table, sadly located in the corner, and making comments and they even boo one of the tables select. In fact, the applause for all 3 tables weren't very loud, and many people actually shouted 'kelong' after the results were announced.

Although we didn't win the best table award, it was contented to know that we girls had fun, pulled us closer together, that we were best dressed in our eyes and some others eyes. Most importantly, we had fun and enjoyed the process!

The games played that night were so so, the food was okay, nothing much to boast about. It was gone just like that, think being in a corner makes it really daunting too, cause not much space for us to move about.

Still it was a memorable night spent together. Last year, I sat with the old gang of OTs and this year, it was a totally new batch of OTs.

What will happen next year?

Photos were mostly taken by Ivy that night. I only took one with Yoges, so could only post up one. We had photos taken by the photographer too. Everyone looks happy smiling away.

Unfortunately it was taken with my phone so you couldn't see our whole body. But the photographer who took a group pic of us managed to catch some of our straw skirts.

D & D over, back to work life again, welcoming Christmas and weddings soon!

Monday, November 12, 2007 Y 5:44 AM

"All Good Things (Come To An End)"

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

Flames to Dust
Lovers to Friends

Just find this song so nostalgic.

Y 5:39 AM

Simple things makes me smile and happy. Opening an orange box to find 6 doughnuts of my favourite inside is such a joy. Having you beside me throughout the rainy night was such a bliss.

I wish times like that last longer.

Looking through my blog, I think I'm bipolar. Happy a moment, sad another.

Sunday, November 11, 2007 Y 3:40 AM

I am very proud to say that I completed running one whole round my estate without stopping when in the past I could only do half round and walked rest. Yes, this may not be an accomplishment as compared to those people who can really run, but to me, it's a very great accomplishment considering that I don't like running and I suck in it. So, I'm really proud of myself!

It is Beautiful Sunday at Esplanade again. It is my turn to bring the patients on outing again, together with J.T. This performance was by Westwing Band of Bukit Batok Community Centre, playing popular blockbusters movies theme songs. They played theme songs by Pirates of Carribean, Grease, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Magnificent Seven, Star Wars and the unforgettable opening theme of 20th Century Fox. Ta Ta Ta Ta.....haha, got reminded of Simpsons movie suddenly.

My favourite performance was The Pirates of Carribean Trilogy, it was the best amongst all, although if you have heard the soundtrack before, their performance is still not quite there yet. It is kinda of lacking a certain majestic feeling. I still the best was the Singapore Youth Orchestra performance, the one I went for the 1st outing. Apparently today's performance was really popular, they have to turn down 200 over audience because it was full.

The next performance in next month is by NYP Chinese Orchestra, hopefully it is good.

Saturday, November 10, 2007 Y 9:54 AM

So I sat up all night thinking through, not all night really, just till 2am cause I was getting tired.

The pain of losing you is like probably trillion times or more as compared to having downs in the relationships.

You know when a person means alot to you, it's when you do things irrationally because of that person.

I could think logically for anybody but when it comes to you, it never happens. I finally got to understand what you meant by saying that it's not easy to break and forge bonds so easily.

I was glad that I finally won the battle.

Y 8:03 AM

I admit that it was my fault for making you angry. I agree that I was in the wrong to do that thing.

But you know, you were very selfish to me too. You cancel our date again because you don't want to see me as you are angry. Time and time again, we have compromise on it that you wouldn't do that to me as I have told you before it is very hurtful. Yet time and time again, you choose to hurt me like that.

It's not that I don't see things your way you know. Your words make sense at times and today I agree your words make sense after we thrash it through, but yet a very deep feeling of hurt lies within me because again, you have chose to cancel our date again.

Time is precious you know, by canceling dates like that on me is not being fair to me. You are wasting my time away like that. I could have a better weekend spent. I could have accompanied my mom, my cousins, my grandpa instead of crying away at home. I could have thrash things out in person with you and still have a good weekend.

Yes, it's different communication styles and I could clearly see our communication styles is very different. I'm honestly very perturbed by it and being me, I can't accept it. Tonight is a long night for me, I have eyes sore from crying too much and I'm battling with myself whether I should really continue the relationship.

Yes, you did say you will still choose me because of the feelings we had and times together. I could bring myself to say the same thing too, because I really felt very good and happy with you and I do love you alot.

But I'm selfish too, I'm petty too. I just couldn't stand how you hurt me over and over again with the same thing that we have talked about. You can ask me not to drink anymore and I could do that for you. You ask me to exercise and I tried exercising though not consistent but I'm putting in effort. Why can't you just put a lil effort in for me and don't do this to me?

It's more hurtful to do this to me you know, how much tears I can flow. I'm wondering whether I'm deluding myself when I tell myself that I really love you and I shouldn't just choose to break up because of small things like that. That I shouldn't mind how much sacrifices that were made. I'm wondering is it right that I have to cry so much all the time.

Truth is, when you are in love, you can't bear to give up. I can't bear to give up honestly. It kills my heart to give you up but to actually bring me to think about seriously breaking up, it spells something you know.

Although I know, I would most probably choose to hold on to you tomorrow and even if you ask me now, I would most probably choose that. There's some nibbling part of me that is querying though. Convince me please... or maybe I wasn't worth to be convinced. Sigh, dunno being too emo can't think straight.

I regret on what I have said to you, mean things that I totally regret. I regret suggesting a break up but then honestly, it was really what I felt, I felt so upset and despondent that I couldn't continue on with it anymore. I am really truly very lost, and I really would really appreciate if you could guide me along better.

Sigh, why does my weekend has to turn out like this?

Thursday, November 8, 2007 Y 8:36 AM

Shawnie's birthday today, or rather yesterday 8th November. Happy Birthday Shawnie!

Supposingly to go out with the gang for movie but Min wasn't able to make it at 12. In the end, we went for chicky rice at my favourite stall in BB central and then went to Island Creamery for ice cream.

Had loads of ice cream there, chendol, teh tarik, black forest, Reverse O, mudpie and pear sake. Bought Black Forest, Teh tarik and reverse O for my family too. The mud pie is really very nice! Orea cookies and choc ice cream and chocolate slabs, simply delicious.

Pop over to Grandpa's house and we had a mini celebration there. We had bbq steamboat and a mini cake and ice cream.

Was really tired so didn't ate much, also I probably ate too much before that, all the ice cream.

Shawnie said it has been years he received a cake and actually got a celebration. Darryl was jealous that Shawnie has one and he didn't. I got hooked onto playing Harvest Moon at Ken's (Woo family, not Mr Lim)house.

Back to work tomorrow, yawn, so tired.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007 Y 8:15 PM

My Pig is a sleepy pig, a gaming pig, greedy pig yet an exercise freak. To think that he has the qualities of a pig but he still like to exercise.

Perhaps, he is a pig in denial. Trying to be anorexic as a pig.

Thank you Pig for making me so happy for the past 9 months.

You are like an angel sent to me by heaven

Y 8:56 AM

Seafood bisque and mushroom soup, sundried tomato herb and garlic bread, and Banana Madness. Supper by courtesy of Ken.......yummy yummy....I'm a fat little piggy now. Oink oink!

Y 5:47 AM

Straw skirt, white spag top, pink hair, flowery slippers.....that was what my girls in OT Office decided to wear to D & D this year. Not too sure whether can get the hair spray to make our hair pink though but it sounded fun!

Tried making the straw skirt today in office with Geri and Chiu Ling, only managed to make 2 and a little bit of the 3rd one, going to get our patients to shred it into small pieces. Eunice said it looked nice yeah, heh heh can't wait to see the end product too.

Slacking day today, spent the afternoon making straw skirts instead of working, super slacking. Friday is an even better day cause all the big shots are on leave, so officially it's slacking day for all of us!

Ken and I found a nice place to buy French soup. It's at Dhoby Gaut B2 area, called Saybons. I tried the mushroom and seafood, both tasted very nice! They have very nice bread too, garlic and sundried tomato herb bread. Can check out their webbie at www.saybons.com.

Ooooh btw I got my donut factory donuts from Ken last week! Yeah, got my favourite white chocolate one! I love the donuts! And on the day where I brought to work and shared it with Eunice and Geri, Eunice and I happened to saw that there is a new branch in Novena Square. Think we going to cheong for it when we go for council meeting in TTSH hahahaha.

I got new shoes, courtesy of Mr Lim! Black and silver New Balance shoes, super pretty kay, I must find a chance to wear it soon!

It's Shawnie's birthday tomorrow and we are celebrating it. And it's Mr Lim's wife birthday tomorrow and he's celebrating it with his wife, so too bad, I can't join him, can't be a nosy 3rd party and spoil ppl's lovey dovey moments.

I'm so glad I'm off tomorrow since I don't get off this Sun, got to go back to work, but luckily only bringing 5 patients this time so small little thing hee hee.

Back on Friday to continue with straw skirt activity!

Friday, November 2, 2007 Y 6:12 PM

Woken up early in the morning, feeling sad and sleepless.

I get emo when I get woken up too early, without ample sleep, and even more emo when I don't hear good news when I am not sufficiently rested.

It's a very small thing to say, yeah, it's really a very small thing but then can you imagine that I can cry over it? I seriously think I am really either very stress with whatever is happening around me work issues over the past few weeks.

I actually cried over the small little thing and I cried alot, not the little crying kind, which is why I'm here blogging. Perhaps I felt disappointed by how I am not getting things coming recently, and this small little incident just further adds on it. Perhaps I am upset that I kept getting disappointed by things and this incident just trigger everything off.

Or perhaps I was just looking forward to a nice little weekend with you, but I couldn't get a nice little weekend.

It sucks even more when my nose is blocked and runny. It worsens because of the crying.

Sometimes in times like this, where I'm really down the run, I wish I had someone who will hug me and say "everything will be okay". But hey, this is life right? You can't possibly get someone to do that to you everytime.

It sucks when you had a week you heard of disappointing news and you look forward to a nice little weekend to spend time with your love ones but turns out that you probably spend time alone. You know, this kinda makes me like as if I'm very petty because I get upset but I can't help it. Cuz I was brimming with hope and looking forward to things, and to get crush down on hope is not exactly a good feeling. And this has happened twice this week. Perhaps I couldn't take disappointment anymore.

I think I'm just really upset with things happening around me recently. Sigh, spending Sat day at home alone, perhaps it may be good? I do not know.


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