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Friday, April 24, 2009 Y 7:55 AM


I met a dear friend yesterday for dinner and she told me that she got the feeling the good old Caiwei is back again. She even asked me whether I remembered the words that I said to her when I was depressed. She told me that I told that I'm useless and she is so successful.

Now to think about it, it's kinda funny about what I said, to the point that it's a little ridiculous. Although I do not think I'm really useful but I'm over that stage. It's scary when you are really depressed. You do and say things that when you recover one day, you realised it's nonsense.

Well, so to those who are concerned about me. There, you got some bits of me back.


Y 7:55 AM


I met a dear friend yesterday for dinner and she told me that she got the feeling the good old Caiwei is back again. She even asked me whether I remembered the words that I said to her when I was depressed. She told me that I told that I'm useless and she is so successful.

Now to think about it, it's kinda funny about what I said, to the point that it's a little ridiculous. Although I do not think I'm really useful but I'm over that stage. It's scary when you are really depressed. You do and say things that when you recover one day, you realised it's nonsense.

Well, so to those who are concerned about me. There, you got some bits of me back.


Thursday, April 23, 2009 Y 10:29 AM


I had never been a fan of Chinese storybooks when I was young, until I got introduced to 2 authors by my secondary school friend and my mom. Yeah, I used to read some authors like Ni Kuang but that was because those are the available books that I found in home (collection of my aunts) when I was so bored and I ran out of English books to read.

One year, in my Sec 2 or 3, where I was crazy over people like R.L Stine/Christopher Pike/Sweet Valley High/Judy Bloom/Louisa May Alcott/Duncan's A to Z detective series, my buddy introduced me to a book called "Rouge" by Yi Shu. It was about 3 women, Grandmother, Mother and Daughter, whom are all 17 years apart in age from each other. Mother happened to meet Grandma's ex lover and started hanging out with him, and she was introduced to his son. His son fell in love with her and started going after her. Mean while, Grandma's ex lover fell in love with Mother too. In the end, she chose to be with Grandma's ex lover while the ex lover's son fell in love with the Daughter. I know, it sounds complicated but it's really nice once you read it. From then on, I kept looking out for her books and I read most of it.

There is some certain characteristics of female leads in Yi Shu's stories. All of them are independent and financially able to support themselves in the end. They live alone, they own their own houses, drive their own cars. Some of them have good relationships in the end. Some of them tend to marry or date men who are old enough to be their father or grandfather. Some of them entered the entertainment industry but ended up being alone despite having relationships with rich old men previously. Sometimes there are guys who like them but the feelings are not reciprocated.

I guess I have a certain attraction to her books because someone, the independence in the female leads awe me. I also hope to be independent like them, having my own house and be able to cope with things bravely. They do not need a man to be there but sometimes the comfort of love is good to curb loneliness. Sometimes the characters ended up with a good ending, sometimes they have really bad endings. My faourite book from her is "Liu Jin Sui Yue". A book about 2 girls that met since young and became good friends till 28 years old, and their relationships between each other, how they grew and their relationships with other men. I can re read the book like numerous times and never get tired of it.

Another author that I like is Zhang Xiao Xian. My mom introduced me to her books. My first book was "3 A cup Women". It was about 3 women that wears 32A, 34A and 36A size bras and about their love lives. Somehow, this author always have rather sad endings for her books, mostly people don't end up together. Of the few occasions that I read some books of her, the couples have happy endings. Recently, rereading her first book of Channel A series and realised that everyone in the story couldn't end up with the person they love, and once it's over, it can never be the same. No idea why she is so morbid about relationships but her stories are good. I don't really remember her stories as well as Yi Shu, guess probably I prefer Yi Shu more so I can't tell you which is my favourite, although I do enjoy reading her stories.

So these are 2 Chinese authors that I often hunt for their books. There are some other Chinese authors that I read on and off if people recommend me. I still read English books much more than Chinese. I own a few books of Harry Potter, Shopaholic, Louisa May Alcott nd other miscellanous English books, and I borrowed quite alot to read too. I'm lemming to read Eragon and the other one starting with a "B"? Cannot remember the title. Hope to be able to lay my hands on them soon.


Y 10:29 AM


I had never been a fan of Chinese storybooks when I was young, until I got introduced to 2 authors by my secondary school friend and my mom. Yeah, I used to read some authors like Ni Kuang but that was because those are the available books that I found in home (collection of my aunts) when I was so bored and I ran out of English books to read.

One year, in my Sec 2 or 3, where I was crazy over people like R.L Stine/Christopher Pike/Sweet Valley High/Judy Bloom/Louisa May Alcott/Duncan's A to Z detective series, my buddy introduced me to a book called "Rouge" by Yi Shu. It was about 3 women, Grandmother, Mother and Daughter, whom are all 17 years apart in age from each other. Mother happened to meet Grandma's ex lover and started hanging out with him, and she was introduced to his son. His son fell in love with her and started going after her. Mean while, Grandma's ex lover fell in love with Mother too. In the end, she chose to be with Grandma's ex lover while the ex lover's son fell in love with the Daughter. I know, it sounds complicated but it's really nice once you read it. From then on, I kept looking out for her books and I read most of it.

There is some certain characteristics of female leads in Yi Shu's stories. All of them are independent and financially able to support themselves in the end. They live alone, they own their own houses, drive their own cars. Some of them have good relationships in the end. Some of them tend to marry or date men who are old enough to be their father or grandfather. Some of them entered the entertainment industry but ended up being alone despite having relationships with rich old men previously. Sometimes there are guys who like them but the feelings are not reciprocated.

I guess I have a certain attraction to her books because someone, the independence in the female leads awe me. I also hope to be independent like them, having my own house and be able to cope with things bravely. They do not need a man to be there but sometimes the comfort of love is good to curb loneliness. Sometimes the characters ended up with a good ending, sometimes they have really bad endings. My faourite book from her is "Liu Jin Sui Yue". A book about 2 girls that met since young and became good friends till 28 years old, and their relationships between each other, how they grew and their relationships with other men. I can re read the book like numerous times and never get tired of it.

Another author that I like is Zhang Xiao Xian. My mom introduced me to her books. My first book was "3 A cup Women". It was about 3 women that wears 32A, 34A and 36A size bras and about their love lives. Somehow, this author always have rather sad endings for her books, mostly people don't end up together. Of the few occasions that I read some books of her, the couples have happy endings. Recently, rereading her first book of Channel A series and realised that everyone in the story couldn't end up with the person they love, and once it's over, it can never be the same. No idea why she is so morbid about relationships but her stories are good. I don't really remember her stories as well as Yi Shu, guess probably I prefer Yi Shu more so I can't tell you which is my favourite, although I do enjoy reading her stories.

So these are 2 Chinese authors that I often hunt for their books. There are some other Chinese authors that I read on and off if people recommend me. I still read English books much more than Chinese. I own a few books of Harry Potter, Shopaholic, Louisa May Alcott nd other miscellanous English books, and I borrowed quite alot to read too. I'm lemming to read Eragon and the other one starting with a "B"? Cannot remember the title. Hope to be able to lay my hands on them soon.


Monday, April 20, 2009 Y 7:03 AM


I'm intrigued by how weird my 2nd Uncle is. Firstly, he came back from India and bought alot of weird and not necessary stuff for us such as balloons. What the hell do we need balloons for? Fortunately, we had Darryl's party coming up (I tell you he sure doesn't know about it till he was back, so no way the balloons were for that) and so he brought it along and HE ASKED US TO BLOW IT UP INSTEAD. I dunno whether the balloons were cheap or wat but it was so difficult to blow it up. A couple bursted when we were blowing some more. Moreover, they either look like papayas or another word starting with a 'p' that siginfies a manhood.

Secondly, he told Shawn that he is not allowed to play computer games from Monday to Friday. Now, this may sounds reasonable but Shawn is like 19 years old. My mom certainly didn't ask me not to play computer games on weekdays and focus on studying only.

The best part was when Shawn told me that his father told him to take out a book and read aloud. That was really hilarious! Shawn's comment was that his father was still treating him like a primary school kid.

Honestly, I think SAF has really got to my Uncle's head so much that he is going cuckoos. Unfortunately, he was borned with an Angel Face and Devil's body. He is really good looking and his body is really fit. He is 50y.o but looks like only 30 plus. Tons of women are still interested in him but if they know he is so weird, I doubt so huh? LOL.


Y 7:03 AM


I'm intrigued by how weird my 2nd Uncle is. Firstly, he came back from India and bought alot of weird and not necessary stuff for us such as balloons. What the hell do we need balloons for? Fortunately, we had Darryl's party coming up (I tell you he sure doesn't know about it till he was back, so no way the balloons were for that) and so he brought it along and HE ASKED US TO BLOW IT UP INSTEAD. I dunno whether the balloons were cheap or wat but it was so difficult to blow it up. A couple bursted when we were blowing some more. Moreover, they either look like papayas or another word starting with a 'p' that siginfies a manhood.

Secondly, he told Shawn that he is not allowed to play computer games from Monday to Friday. Now, this may sounds reasonable but Shawn is like 19 years old. My mom certainly didn't ask me not to play computer games on weekdays and focus on studying only.

The best part was when Shawn told me that his father told him to take out a book and read aloud. That was really hilarious! Shawn's comment was that his father was still treating him like a primary school kid.

Honestly, I think SAF has really got to my Uncle's head so much that he is going cuckoos. Unfortunately, he was borned with an Angel Face and Devil's body. He is really good looking and his body is really fit. He is 50y.o but looks like only 30 plus. Tons of women are still interested in him but if they know he is so weird, I doubt so huh? LOL.


Saturday, April 18, 2009 Y 12:08 PM


A picture says a thousand words, unfortunately, as I'm not the photo taking kind, I forgot to take photos of today's event.

It was Darryl's 21st birthday. The last person who turned 21st was me and it was a elaborated event that everyone was dressed up in some super fancy nice clothes. For our Prince, it was only a simple bbq with family members, and of course, no key earrings or necklaces. The only key that he received was only partially too, which was the key to be able to drive his father's key, owing to the fact that he passed his license like 4 to 5 days ago. However, he didn't have a key on his own though. As for freedom, he long ago had achieved freedom, just that he is officially able to vote now and no parental consent needed for certain things anymore.

We had a simple bbq over at 5th aunt's condo, and the star of the day was busy bbqing food for us though. That is being a boy, you don't get to be the Princess and be pampered but have to do the hard work. The fact that there were more girls than guys in the family made the guys in the family work harder sometimes, LOL. We had crazy ideas of throwing him into the pool, but because there were only 2 other guys and the rest were all tiny puny girls except Min and me (even one of the guys is still considered small), no one could throw him in as Darryl is rather big size. We fooled around and chit chatted. Played hop scotch where i fell from doing a challenging jump from number 0 to 6 in one leg, and plus I was wearing filmsy slippers and a dress. Fortunately, I did such an acrobatic fall that I turned like a ballerina and fell to my side, with no injuries at all and no exposure of my undies to others. My cousins said I once again did my Lara Croft stunt, LOL. Zhu came by later and brought ice cream for everyone where it cooled us down after the hot weather and bbq.

We ended with watching DMC at aunt's house and cake cutting for Darryl. We were trying to get him to pick up the candles with his mouth but he refused to. He probably know we might just smash his face in if he did it haha.

So that concludes the simple celebration we had for him. Happy Birthday to him as he is officially turning 21 in 20/4/2009. Welcome to Adult Hood, Darryl!


Y 12:08 PM


A picture says a thousand words, unfortunately, as I'm not the photo taking kind, I forgot to take photos of today's event.

It was Darryl's 21st birthday. The last person who turned 21st was me and it was a elaborated event that everyone was dressed up in some super fancy nice clothes. For our Prince, it was only a simple bbq with family members, and of course, no key earrings or necklaces. The only key that he received was only partially too, which was the key to be able to drive his father's key, owing to the fact that he passed his license like 4 to 5 days ago. However, he didn't have a key on his own though. As for freedom, he long ago had achieved freedom, just that he is officially able to vote now and no parental consent needed for certain things anymore.

We had a simple bbq over at 5th aunt's condo, and the star of the day was busy bbqing food for us though. That is being a boy, you don't get to be the Princess and be pampered but have to do the hard work. The fact that there were more girls than guys in the family made the guys in the family work harder sometimes, LOL. We had crazy ideas of throwing him into the pool, but because there were only 2 other guys and the rest were all tiny puny girls except Min and me (even one of the guys is still considered small), no one could throw him in as Darryl is rather big size. We fooled around and chit chatted. Played hop scotch where i fell from doing a challenging jump from number 0 to 6 in one leg, and plus I was wearing filmsy slippers and a dress. Fortunately, I did such an acrobatic fall that I turned like a ballerina and fell to my side, with no injuries at all and no exposure of my undies to others. My cousins said I once again did my Lara Croft stunt, LOL. Zhu came by later and brought ice cream for everyone where it cooled us down after the hot weather and bbq.

We ended with watching DMC at aunt's house and cake cutting for Darryl. We were trying to get him to pick up the candles with his mouth but he refused to. He probably know we might just smash his face in if he did it haha.

So that concludes the simple celebration we had for him. Happy Birthday to him as he is officially turning 21 in 20/4/2009. Welcome to Adult Hood, Darryl!


Thursday, April 16, 2009 Y 10:21 AM


Someone who treats u nice one minute and nasty the other is not worth to be love. No matter how much money is given or spent, that is never equivalent to the essence of love.

My very honest opinion is that, I'm really tired. I always get second thoughts about the whole relationship thing. Sometimes, you realised you loved someone when you get really angry with things they do. I no long feel that way. I don't get that angry. Yes, I do get upset but it just passes in 5 minutes? I can't be bothered to be overwhelmed by those issues and back behind my mind, I am always thinking, if I wanted to, I'm sure I can look for someone else that is much better. In the past, I will just cry and cry and get really upset and afraid that you will leave me. Now, I just get upset for 5 minutes and I will get it through and wouldn't even think about messaging or talking to you. Life still goes on for me.

What always stopped me from doing that was when I thought of how nice you treated me and everything we been through. If you honestly think this is a relationship worth to be in, I sincerely seek your cooperation and commitment to make a change in your attitude. I'm tired of how you speak to me hot and cold. When you are happy and free, you talk to me happily. When you are busy or in a bad mood, you will talk to me like shit. The essence and basic of communication is if you are in a bad mood or busy, first thing, you highlight to your partner about it.

Do you know what I hated it about the msn thing just now? It was when I'm trying to talk to you and you are not replying, and when I asked why, you did state your reasons and you are half hearted. When I talk to you again, you totally ignore me and just give me one word answers. Asking about what to bring for your course will not render you till so busy that you take 15 minutes to reply to me and to give me one word answers right? And the worse was when I told you I'm not happy and I would't be bothered to be talking to you, you actually said "Okie". What kinda attitude is that?

I know you are busy, and a person with no life like me and no work should not worry you or disturb you. You are one of the reason why I have been crying for the past 2 years and I even cried when I went to see the doctor. I just don't feel that I have any support from you this whole period when I'm down. Yes, you were there when major things happened but after that you were gone. You were the biggest support for me, just like how William is for Cai Lian, but you were most of the time not there. You still treat me in a bad way at times and that really hurt my fragile feelings. I feel that this period where I have fallen down, I am the one that is still trying to look for you for solace and companion, and not you coming to look for me. ALthough sometimes, when you are really free, then you will come and look for me.

I did not cry when I was angry with you over the msn thing just now although you did your usual tactic of ignoring me, but as I'm writing this entry, I started crying because I know how hurt I have been over the past 2 years.


Monday, April 13, 2009 Y 3:44 AM


Zhu's birthday was on 11/4/2009, which we celebrated on Good Friday with my family. Zhu insisted on no birthday celebration so I gathered my parents and my cousins, and last minute, 4th aunt's family tag along too, and we brought him out for dinner and I bought him a cake. Sang him a birthday song too. Zhu looked really happy that we celebrated his birthday.

My break is over and now I'm working as a private caregiver for my 4th uncle's mom, whom had a stroke. It is rather relaxing now but I'm a bit tired, given medication and everything.

Darryl is turning 21 soon and we are gg to have a birthday celebration for him this Saturday. Haha, alot of sabotaging will be going on then. Till then, work I come.


Y 3:44 AM


Zhu's birthday was on 11/4/2009, which we celebrated on Good Friday with my family. Zhu insisted on no birthday celebration so I gathered my parents and my cousins, and last minute, 4th aunt's family tag along too, and we brought him out for dinner and I bought him a cake. Sang him a birthday song too. Zhu looked really happy that we celebrated his birthday.

My break is over and now I'm working as a private caregiver for my 4th uncle's mom, whom had a stroke. It is rather relaxing now but I'm a bit tired, given medication and everything.

Darryl is turning 21 soon and we are gg to have a birthday celebration for him this Saturday. Haha, alot of sabotaging will be going on then. Till then, work I come.


Y 3:44 AM


Zhu's birthday was on 11/4/2009, which we celebrated on Good Friday with my family. Zhu insisted on no birthday celebration so I gathered my parents and my cousins, and last minute, 4th aunt's family tag along too, and we brought him out for dinner and I bought him a cake. Sang him a birthday song too. Zhu looked really happy that we celebrated his birthday.

My break is over and now I'm working as a private caregiver for my 4th uncle's mom, whom had a stroke. It is rather relaxing now but I'm a bit tired, given medication and everything.

Darryl is turning 21 soon and we are gg to have a birthday celebration for him this Saturday. Haha, alot of sabotaging will be going on then. Till then, work I come.





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