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Sunday, October 30, 2005 Y 9:38 PM

I was watching the creation of Andy Lau's newest chinese movie on tv juz now and one scene that I saw set me thinking. It was about Charlene Choi complaining to Andy Lau that he didn't care about her. She said: "Bye bye, bye bye, that's all you know how to say and do! Wait till I'm gone then you know!". She died in a car crash and he was devastated.

When I saw that scene, I could totally empathize with Charlene's situation. Tat was exactly my sentiments! How many numerous times have this kinda tots crossed my mind when I was with him? I could barely count it esp recently. Well, I dun want to be dead...juz often tot that perhaps I could disappeared from his life for a lil while. Perhaps then I could c the true colors of him.

Too often I had wished to ask for a cooling off period but juz bring myself to not contact him at all. I'm such a failure yeah. Then I question myself, is that love then? The fact that I couldn't bear to leave happily as I cud as like in the previous relationships.

If I'm gone one day, will you be sad?


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